Inward Look

sometimes
loneliness consumes me
until I look inside myself
and find You there
source of life
living Christ
love everlasting
ground of my being
knower
of all things

Tension

I held his gaze
for a lifetime

eternity
compressed within a second

eyes locked
in unspoken pain
and understanding

recognition
of a calling
too high
to walk away from
whatever
the excruciating cost

I knew about calling

and the cost of his
couldn’t have been higher

with every nerve in my body
I felt the inevitability of it

every
twist and turn
of the journey
every road
from the stable to now
had been leading
towards this path
propelling me
into this sword piercing pain
the agony
of watching him
steadily walk
towards his certain death

apology
love
fear
broken dreams
a lifetime of emotion
filled the air between us

we dare not let ourselves
come close
for fear
the nearness would break us
our love for each other
draw him away
from the call

I busied myself
bit my lip
got on with the difficult business
of being ordinary

Thursday Morning

this was the day

the hour
had nearly come

early in the morning
he rose to pray

slipped away
from the twelve

and watching
the gentle, soft light
of dawn
infuse the edges of the clouds
with brightness

he whispered

however you want this day
to unfold

let it be

let your glory
shine

Conception

once upon a time
a young girl
gave herself
to a labour of love,
a labour
characterised by struggle,
the eternal struggle
between darkness
and light,
the struggle that light
and truth
wholeness
and beauty
were destined
eventually
to win

the battle
between exquisite peace
and sword piercing pain
that began to reveal its destiny
through the young girl’s
labour

quietly
secretly
imperceptibly
Light
was coming,
on its way
across time and space,
to make itself known

and it made its first appearance
with a sign
the shimmering ethereal
radiance
of an angel
bright
clear
unmistakable
softly entering
into an ordinary day

an angel who said
will you lend
your love
that God might birth
a greater Love
through you

and Mary said
yes

tell God

I say yes

Engagement

I want to meet
with Him,
this Christmas.

I want to engage
with that baby who was God,
connect
with the God
who came as child.

I want to experience him,
be loved by him,
and welcome him this Christmas.

I want to encounter
the new-born Christ
with every ounce of my emotions
every portion of my soul.

I want to anticipate nothing
and expect
more than I can possibly
imagine.

I really
want to meet with that baby
in a radically new way
this Christmas.

I’ll start

by kneeling …

Risk-Taking Saviour

risking it all
on the ‘yes’
of a Jewish teenager,
staking his plans
on the equally difficult ‘yes’
of a carpenter
disgraced,
breaking
social conventions

he came
with forgiving love

choosing to enter history
in the midst of political turmoil,
risking the dangerous anger
of a king
crazy for power

he came
as a helpless baby

conceiving himself
in the womb of a girl,
risking a difficult birth
in the dirt
of an animal stall

he came
with complete humility

seeking the costliest gift
he could bring
he offered us
simply
himself

entering human life
in all of its raw
and complex messiness

he came

because he cared

The Mystery

unlike any other
and yet
so much
like every other
newborn babe

the visible image
of the invisible God
suckled at the breast

drew his nourishment
from the one
whom he’d chosen
to mother him

utterly transcendent
wholly dependent
thoroughly human
completely divine

God
suckled at the breast

and Mary
once more
gave her body in love
and pondered
the mystery