The Melting

it seemed
as if the heavy weight of her weariness
melted into the straw
as her exhausted body
surrendered itself
to the makeshift bed
that Joseph had fashioned

it was done

the child was born

the promised one

was here

and a river

of unimaginable
relief and joy
washed over her and through her
like an all-consuming tidal wave

he was safely come

she knew not

what the future held

but God had come good

she knew she could trust
her Adonai

she had surrendered her body

to his purposes
and he
had delivered on his promise

and through the swirling mist of emotion

and a million unanswerable questions
through the discomfort
and after pains
of childbirth
in the total unknowing
of what came next
the whole weight of her tired body
settled into the straw
and utter joy
flooded her senses

God had come good

let it be to me

she thought
according to your Word

.

A Whisper in the Night

He came

out of nowhere,
like a whisper in the night,
delivered the message,
the truly astounding message,
and then
like a half forgotten dream in the morning
he was gone
as if he'd never been,
leaving me wondering
pondering
wrestling with questions unanswerable,
knowing that everything
every single thing
had just
changed.

I had said my yes

and now
there was no turning back.

I rested my hand

on my belly
and pondered
the mystery of it all.

.

Encounter

hail

o favoured one
the Lord is with you

little more than a whisper

the voice was clear
and steady

do not be afraid

easy for him to say that

this radiant dazzling figure
who’d mysteriously appeared
out of nowhere

she began to tremble

felt her own
sharp intake of breath
before this strange figure
who’d rudely interrupted
her daydreaming

he had the shape and form

of a man
yet was
so very different
nebulous
shining
his features softened
by a shimmering glow
and he carried a presence
that emanated
an extraordinary peace

every nerve in her body

felt on edge
adrenalin
coursed through her
like a mighty waterfall
she felt in the presence
of something
terrifyingly beautiful
spell bindingly powerful
hugely frightening

and he said

simply
do not be afraid

absolutely nothing

could have prepared her
for what came next

you are to bear a son

one who will reign
over Israel
forever

he will be the Son

of the Most High

you are to call him

Jesus

her mind raced into overdrive

a heady cocktail of confusion, questions
arguments
random tumbling thoughts                                           

and then

after a split second
that felt longer than a lifetime

relief

it was all a mistake

this terrifying encounter
had to be a mistake
he had the wrong girl
it couldn’t possibly
be her
she’d never slept with a man

but he ignored her protests

carried on

the power of the Most High

will overshadow you
and make you pregnant

your baby will be holy

the Son of God

the power of the Most High?

a holy baby?

a million emotions

battled for attention within Mary
she wanted to run like the wind
from this conversation
pretend it never happened
get back to being ordinary

and then an echo of ancient scripture

voiced itself in her head

the virgin

will conceive a child                                                                            

and suddenly

this crazy scenario
all seemed impossibly possible

could it be true

that she was the chosen one

and though she didn’t begin to understand it

knew she could never deserve it
had no concept of the consequences
she wanted to laugh, cry, dance
all at once
wanted to tell everyone
about the angel

and she knew

there was only one response
she could make

she heard herself speaking

I am the servant of Adonai

let it be to me
as you have said

.

 

Tension

I held his gaze
for a lifetime

eternity
compressed within a second

eyes locked
in unspoken pain
and understanding

recognition
of a calling
too high
to walk away from
whatever
the excruciating cost

I knew about calling

and the cost of his
couldn’t have been higher

with every nerve in my body
I felt the inevitability of it

every
twist and turn
of the journey
every road
from the stable to now
had been leading
towards this path
propelling me
into this sword piercing pain
the agony
of watching him
steadily walk
towards his certain death

apology
love
fear
broken dreams
a lifetime of emotion
filled the air between us

we dare not let ourselves
come close
for fear
the nearness would break us
our love for each other
draw him away
from the call

I busied myself
bit my lip
got on with the difficult business
of being ordinary

Conception

once upon a time
a young girl
gave herself
to a labour of love,
a labour
characterised by struggle,
the eternal struggle
between darkness
and light,
the struggle that light
and truth
wholeness
and beauty
were destined
eventually
to win

the battle
between exquisite peace
and sword piercing pain
that began to reveal its destiny
through the young girl’s
labour

quietly
secretly
imperceptibly
Light
was coming,
on its way
across time and space,
to make itself known

and it made its first appearance
with a sign
the shimmering ethereal
radiance
of an angel
bright
clear
unmistakable
softly entering
into an ordinary day

an angel who said
will you lend
your love
that God might birth
a greater Love
through you

and Mary said
yes

tell God

I say yes

The Mystery

unlike any other
and yet
so much
like every other
newborn babe

the visible image
of the invisible God
suckled at the breast

drew his nourishment
from the one
whom he’d chosen
to mother him

utterly transcendent
wholly dependent
thoroughly human
completely divine

God
suckled at the breast

and Mary
once more
gave her body in love
and pondered
the mystery

Blood on the Ground

when her eyes
could bear
to look at him no more
her head
dropped
and finally
her brave composure shattered
a great releasing
flow of grief
consumed her shaking body

and John’s
strong arms
wrapped themselves tightly round her
sharing the pain
holding her together
in her brokenness

and when the tears
had run their painful course
her vacant eyes
stared blindly
through the watery veil
at the bloodstains
by her feet
the blood of her son
colouring the Golgotha dust

and her mind went back
to another time
another lonely place
when it was her blood
staining a dusty stable floor
blood of her womb
outpoured
in his birthing

to a time
when she had made
her sacrifice
given her virginal womb
to the purposes of God

and as another
deep
red
globule
fell to the ground
she knew
that this was her blood too
another sacrifice by her
and part of her
was dying with him

and another tear
broke loose

Heaven Comes Home

a poem birthed during my time of reflective writing this Christmas:

the tiny miracle
of God-made-small
drinks at the warm
soft breast
of the girl
whose womb
has nurtured him
to life

taking the risk
of placing himself
in the care of his own
creation
God births himself
through a wonderful act
of love

divinity
kisses
humanity
staking the future
on Mary’s
yes

heaven
comes home
to earth