Tension

I held his gaze
for a lifetime

eternity
compressed within a second

eyes locked
in unspoken pain
and understanding

recognition
of a calling
too high
to walk away from
whatever
the excruciating cost

I knew about calling

and the cost of his
couldn’t have been higher

with every nerve in my body
I felt the inevitability of it

every
twist and turn
of the journey
every road
from the stable to now
had been leading
towards this path
propelling me
into this sword piercing pain
the agony
of watching him
steadily walk
towards his certain death

apology
love
fear
broken dreams
a lifetime of emotion
filled the air between us

we dare not let ourselves
come close
for fear
the nearness would break us
our love for each other
draw him away
from the call

I busied myself
bit my lip
got on with the difficult business
of being ordinary